There are two types of backbiting – lawful
backbiting and unlawful backbiting - the difference between lawful
backbiting and unlawful backbiting has to do with the state of mind and the
intent.
1-
It
is lawful to truthfully and accurately disclose the faults of someone in a
trial, before a judge, in order to seek justice. Whether the complaint is about oppression, breach of trust,
backbiting, or any other faults. The Prophet(S) said: He who has got a right has got a right to
speak. If a rich man delays in paying
his dues, it is oppression. If the debt is not paid, it is lawful to punish the
rich man and mar his honor.
2- It
is lawful to disclose someone’s bad behavior to a person whom has influence or
power over him to bring him to the right path. Once
news reached Calipha Omar® that Abu Jandal began drinking wine in Syria. Hazrat Omar® wrote a letter to him to
convince him to stop and to repent, and he did. Hazrat Omar® did not attribute the sin of backbiting to the
person who gave him this news.
3- It
is lawful to disclose the faults of someone with the intention of seeking
advice, an Islamic decision, or a solution to a problem. Hinda,
Daughter of Utba, complained to the
Prophet(S) that Abu Sufiyan is a miser.
He does not bear the necessary expenses for her and their children. She asked if she may spend in his
absence. The Prophet(S) told her to
take what is necessary for her and the children. The Prophet(S) never scolded her for backbiting.
4-
It
is lawful to warn a Muslim about someone’s harmful or haram behavior. For example, if you see a learned man
visiting an innovator and you fear that the innovator will influence him, then
it is lawful to disclose his innovation, but no other faults. The
Prophet(S) said: Do you consider it bad
to disclose the faults of a sinner? No.
Disclose his faults so that people may know them and take
precautions.
5- It is lawful to refer to someone by a well known surname. Such as “Lame Man” or “Blind Man.” The intention of doing so is for identification and not for ridicule.
6- It
is lawful to disclose the faults of those who are accustomed to openly and
publicly behaving unlawfully. The
Prophet(S) said: There is no sin
in backbiting a person who has shaken off the screen of shame from his
face. Hazrat Omar® said: There is no honor for a great sinner who has
committed major sins openly. However,
he who has committed a sin secretly should have the honor of his sin being kept
a secret.
1- It is unlawful to
make truthful and hurtful statements
about your brother to someone, because you are angry with him.
[NOTE: IF THE STATEMENTS ARE UNTRUE THEN IT IS SLANDER- WHICH IS A MORE SERIOUS SIN THAN BACKBITING.]
2- It is unlawful to make truthful and hurtful statements about your brother to someone, because
you want please your companions.
3- It is unlawful to make truthful and hurtful statements about your brother to someone, to
disguise your own guilt.
4- It is unlawful to make truthful and hurtful statements about your brother to someone, to free yourself from guilt by
attributing it to him. For
example, to say, “I wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t for him.”
5- It is unlawful to make truthful and hurtful statements about your brother to someone, to
make yourself look impressive while making him look like a fool or powerless.
6- It is unlawful to make truthful and hurtful statements about
your brother to someone, so that
others may feel hatred towards him.
7- It is unlawful to make truthful and hurtful statements about your brother to someone, to ridicule him. For example, to say that he is proud,
he is prone to anger, he is a coward, he is fat, he is a hypocrite, he is a
miser, etc.
8- It is unlawful to make truthful and hurtful statements about your brother to someone, because you have contempt for him - that is you look down upon him, you don’t think much of him.
[NOTE: SHAITAN WORKS HIS EVIL TO DECEIVE EVEN PIOUS MUSLIMS WITH THE FOLLOWING TYPES OF BACKBITING ]:
9- When
people see a fault in a pious person they say “that person (naming the person)
has many good qualities but one bad fault.” To express the fault would be backbiting. [NOTE:
IT IS NOT BACKBITING IF THE INTENTION OF EXPRESSING THE
FAULT IS TO SEEK JUSTICE, OR TO CORRECT THE FAULT, OR TO SERVE AS A WARNING, OR
TO SEEK ADVICE BECAUSE THE FAULT AFFECTS YOU.]
10- It is
unlawful to express sympathy for a sin which was committed by a particular
person or for an unfortunate situation of a particular person. For example, to say that I am
worried about so and so because of his gambling habit or I feel sorry
for so and so because of the bad situation he is in. Avoid backbiting by not mentioning his name. [NOTE:
THIS IS BACKBITING BECAUSE YOU
ARE NOT ONLY NAMING THE PERSON BUT YOU ARE ALSO REVEALING THEIR SIN OR AN
EMBARRASSING SITUATION. HOWEVER, IF THE
PURPOSE OF DISCLOSURE IS TO INFORM SOMEONE WHO CAN PROVIDE HELP OR WHO CAN PUT
HIM ON THE RIGHT PATH THEN IT WOULD NOT BE BACKBITING.]
11- It is
unlawful to express anger for the sake of Allah to another about a particular
person. Avoid backbiting by not
mentioning the name of the person.
12- Reported by Hazrat Abu Huraira® that the
Prophet(S) said: BACKBITING IS REFERRING TO YOUR BROTHER IN SUCH A WAY AS WOULD
HURT HIM, EVEN THAT IT IS A FACT.
Some people fall into Shaitan’s trap and say “I WILL TELL HIM SO-AND-SO TO HIS FACE” or “I TOLD SO-AND-SO TO
HIS FACE” believing that saying something directly to a person is not
backbiting. This argument does not
justify backbiting. The Prophet(S)
observed that backbiting means to refer to someone in such a way as would hurt
him. This shows that the basis of
backbiting is causing heartache and injuring the feelings, whether it is done
directly or indirectly. [NOTE: IF THE INTENTION OF TELLING A PERSON HIS
FAULTS IS TO BRING HIM TO THE RIGHT PATH OR TO ADVISE HIM AND NOT TO RIDICULE
HIM THEN IT IS NOT BACKBITING.]
- by the TONGUE
- by SIGNS, GESTURES and HINTS. One
day a woman visited Hazrat Ayesha®, when the woman left Hazrat Ayesha® hinted
with her hand to the Prophet(S) that she is a dwarf. The Prophet(S) said: YOU HAVE BACKBITED HER.
- in WRITINGS
- in
the MIND. Backbiting by the
mind is done by harboring bad thoughts about a person. However, thoughts that
suddenly arise in the mind and then are dismissed are pardonable. The
Prophet(S) said, “Allah(SWT) has made it unlawful to entertain evil thoughts
about your brother.” Since it leads to
searching for his secrets – which is also unlawful.
- with REFERENCE TO A PARTICULAR DECEASED
PERSON.
- by LISTENING TO BACKBITING – that is the listener of
backbiting is also included in the sin along with the backbiter.
THE
FIRST TREATMENT
- Is to realize that we will incur the wrath of Allah(SWT) upon ourselves if we commit this sin.
-
- Is to realize that on The Day of Judgment, our
virtues (good deeds) will go to the backbited one and if we don’t have any good
deeds left, his sins will fall on us.
Also, we may have to endure the torments of hell fire till the account
is settled.
-
-
Is to realize that if we publicly ridicule someone, Allah(SWT) will ridicule us
before all his creatures in the next world.
- The Prophet(S) said,
“Backbiting consumes the virtues of a man
faster than fire consumes dry wood.”
- It was mentioned to the Prophet(S) that there is a woman
who prays and fasts, but she gives trouble to her neighbor by backbiting. The Prophet(S) said that this woman will go
to hell.
- Hazrat Hasan Basri® was warned that a certain person had
backbited him. Hazrat Basri® sent the backbiter a bunch of dry grapes and said,
“I heard that you have sent me your virtues so I am sending this small gift as
an exchange.”
-Allah(SWT) revealed to Prophet ‘Isa(A): He who dies after repenting from backbiting
will enter paradise last. He who dies
without such repentance will enter hell first.
- SURATUL HUJURAT (49:12): “O YOU WHO BELIEVE: AVOID SUSPICION, FOR
SUSPICION IS A SIN. AND DON’T SPY NOR
BACKBITE ONE ANOTHER. WOULD YOU LIKE TO
EAT THE FLESH OF YOUR DEAD BROTHER?
KEEP YOUR DUTY TO ALLAH. ALLAH IS RELENTING, MERCIFUL.” Reflect! This verse of The
Holy Quran equates backbiting with eating the flesh of one’s dead brother. Therefore, backbiting is like eating a
corpse.
- Hazrat Abu
Hurairah® reported that the Prophet(S) said:
He who eats the flesh of his brother (by unlawfully backbiting him) in
this life will be presented with the body of his dead brother in the next life
and will be told to eat his dead flesh just as he ate his flesh when he was
alive.
- The Prophet(S)
said: Beware of backbiting as it is a
more heinous sin than fornication. If a
man commits fornication and repents, Allah(SWT) may accept his repentance, but
the repentance for backbiting is not accepted until the backbited one pardons
you.
- Hazrat Anas® reported that the Prophet(S) once mentioned
that one dirham of interest is more heinous than 36 fornications , but the
greatest sin is to destroy the honor of a Muslim by unlawfully backbiting
him.
- There are three types of sins that are punishable in the
grave:
1)
Backbiting.
2)
Revealing
the secret of someone who has entrusted you.
3)
Breaking
the rules of the call of nature.
THE
SECOND TREATMENT
1- CONTROL YOUR ANGER- Remember that if you take revenge upon a person in anger Allah(SWT) will take revenge upon you in anger for backbiting. [NOTE: ACTING IN THE STATE OF ANGER USUALLY RESULTS IN HARAM ACTIONS.]
- A man
asked the Prophet(S) to give him the most important rule of behavior, the
Prophet(S) said: Do not act in
anger. The man repeated the question
several times, and the answer was “Do
not act in anger.”
-
The Prophet(S) said: The tongue of one who fears Allah(SWT) comes
under control, and then his anger is also brought under control.
- Allah(SWT) revealed to Prophet
Adam(A): “O Adam, remember Me at the
time of your wrath and I will remember you in the time of My wrath.”
- The Prophet(S) said: Whoever controls his anger, while he has the
power to show it, Allah(SWT) will call him on the Day of Resurrection before
all Creation, and reward him greatly.
- The Prophet(S) warned: Anger comes from Shaitan. Shaitan was created from fire, and fire is
extinguished only with water. So when
you become angry, you should perform Wudu.
- The
Prophet(S) said: When one of you is
angry while standing, let him sit down.
If his anger goes away (it is good); otherwise let him lie down.
- According to the sunnah when any action of a man was disliking to the Prophet(S) he did not mention the person by name but mentioned the action in a general way, thereby avoiding backbiting.
2- DON’T PLEASE YOUR COMPANIONS BY BACKBITING.
3-
DON’T IMPRESS OTHERS WITH YOUR PIOUSNESS BY COMPROMISING OR MARRING SOMEONE ELSE’S
HONOR.
4- DON’T BE ARROGANT – don’t consider yourself so pure that you belittle others.
- The Prophet(S) said: The
truly pious person is one who is so consumed with his own faults that he can
not see the faults of his brothers.
5- DON’T BE ENVIOUS OR JEALOUS – know that you will not
only be burnt by the fire of envy in this world; in addition you will also be
burnt by the hell fire.
- SURAH AN-NISA(4:32) –
“AND IN NO WAY DESIRE THOSE GIFTS WHICH
ALLAH HAS BESTOWED MORE FREELY ON SOME OF YOU THAN ON OTHERS…” Reflect! Allah(SWT) has reasons for
everything He does. Sometimes, it seems
that undeserving people have more in this world than the deserving, faithful
people. Still we must not feel
jealous. This is Allah(SWT)’s test. As
Muslims, our main purpose is to submit to the will of Allah(SWT). This means we must be thankful for His
blessings and patiently accept the things we are deprived of. Allah(SWT) promises great rewards for these
sacrifices.
- The
Prophet(S) said: Keep yourselves far from
envy because it eats up and takes away good deeds, like fire eats up and burns
wood.
- The Prophet(S) said: The
wealth, life and honor of a Muslim are unlawful to another Muslim.
6- DON’T RIDICULE – know that Allah will
ridicule you in front of all His creatures in the next world.
7- DON’T EXPRESS SYMPATHY
FOR A SIN COMMITTED BY SOMEONE OR FOR AN UNFORTUNATE SITUATION OF SOMEONE.
8- DON’T EXPRESS SURPRISE OR
ASTONISHMENT FOR SOMEONE’S CONDUCT.
9- DON’T UNLAWFULLY HURT
SOMEONE DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY.
10-
DON’T LISTEN TO BACKBITING- if the listener of backbiting protests with his
tongue he will be exempted from the sin. If he moves away, or if he changes the
subject he will be exempted from the sin.
If he cannot do that he should think it bad in his mind.
Hazrat Anas® reported that the Prophet(S) said: Whosoever has the power to help his brother when someone (unlawfully) backbites him, Allah(SWT) will help him in this world and the hereafter. But if he did not help him while having the power to do so, Allah(SWT) will punish him in this world and in the next.
Hazrat Asma B Yazid®
reported that the Prophet(S) said: Whosoever defends the flesh of his brother
which was being eaten by backbiting, Allah(SWT) will take it upon Himself to
redeem him from the hell fire.
Hazrat Abu Darda® reported that the Prophet(S) said: Any Muslim who defends the honor of his brother, Allah(SWT) will take it upon Himself to remove him from the hell fire.
- First the backbiter has to be sincerely sorry and guard himself from further backbiting.
- Second, the backbiter must
seek forgiveness from the backbited person.
Hazrat Ayesha® disclosed to
another person information regarding a woman whose border of her clothes was
too long. This was backbiting, and so
Hazrat Ayesha® sought pardon from the woman. [NOTE:
THIS IS BACKBITING BECAUSE THE DISCLOSURE WAS NOT TO INFORM THE WOMAN OF
THE PROPER LENGTH OF DRESS.]
- If the backbited person is dead or absent then the backbiter should seek forgiveness for him from Allah(SWT).
- NOTE:
ACCORDING TO HAZRAT HASAN BASRI®:
IT IS SUFFICIENT TO SEEK FORGIVENESS FROM ALLAH(SWT) FOR THE BACKBITED
PERSON. IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO SEEK HIS
PARDON. CITING THE HADITH: TO SEEK FORGIVENESS FOR ONE WHO HAS BEEN
BACKBITED IS EXPIATION OF BACKBITING.
-
NOTE: ACCORDING TO IMAM GHAZZALI: IT IS NECESSARY TO SEEK PARDON FROM THE BACKBITED PERSON IN ORDER
TO BE ABSOLVED FROM THE SIN. CITING THE
HADITH: HE WHO INJURES THE HONOR OR
PROPERTY OF HIS BROTHER SHOULD SEEK HIS PARDON BEFORE THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT.
On the authority of Abu Huraira® the Prophet(S)
said: Don’t envy one another, don’t
inflate prices one to another, don’t turn away from one another, and don’t
undercut one another, but be you, O Slaves Of Allah, brothers. A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim: he
neither oppresses him nor disgraces him, he neither lies to him, nor does he
hold him in contempt.
On the authority of Abu Hamza Anas Ibn Malik® the
Prophet(S) said: None of you are truly a believer
until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.
On the authority of Abu Huraira® the Prophet(S)
said: Part of someone being a pious Muslim is that he should leave alone what
does not concern him.
The Prophet(S) said: Whoever helps a man in distress, Allah(SWT) will record 73 pardons for
him. One will count as the blessing for
what he has done, and 72 will be to elevate his rank on the Day Of Judgement. So discharge the rights of all, cultivate
better morals, and abstain strictly from envy, malice, backbiting, lying,
taunting, quarreling and squabbling.
One day the Prophet(S) asked a person, “Do
you know who is bankrupted?” The person
said, “ Yes, it is one who has no money.”
The Prophet(S) said, “No, it is the one who offers salah, pays the
zakah, fasts, perform the hajj and he backbites.”
Bibliography:
Ihya Ulum-Id- Din, Book III by: Imam Ghazzali
Islamic
Tahdhib and Akhlaq by: B. Aisha Lemu
Sayings Of Muhammad The Last Prophet by: Muhammad Ashraf